Part Seven: The End of B.K. (For Now) and a Blockbuster Hit at Last
B.K. Troop wasn’t quite done with Allison Burnett. While there wasn’t exactly a high demand for more books filled with his neurotically moving and bitchily brilliant narration, it didn’t stop Burnett from writing a third novel in his trilogy. In fact, he had already completed it in the fall of 2006– a full year before the chattering of Katie Kampenfelt began in his brain.
Troop was a joy for Burnett to write, even if publishers weren’t having him. Burnett sat on the manuscript for almost five years before giving it away to a publishing company for his own gratification.
The next B.K. Troop story meant something to him, even if it seemed no one else wanted to read it. After years spent in Hollywood, Burnett couldn’t shake the hilarious idea of relaying some of his experiences and thoughts through Mr. Troop’s voice. Burnett had also wanted to do a murder mystery in Los Angeles and, as he states, “something in B.K. just cried out to be a detective.”
Death By Sunshine (2011)
Part comedy-of-errors, part murder mystery, and part Hollywood satire, Death By Sunshine is easily the funniest and wildest B.K. Troop story yet. At the beginning of the novel, B.K., just like Burnett in the early 90’s, boards the Amtrak from New York to Los Angeles to answer the call of Hollywood. A producer is interested (or so he thinks) in adapting his first novel, Christopher, for the big screen. B.K. is pretentiously hesitant on the surface, but his delicately tempered ego is actually soaring to the heavens: “For as long as I could remember, I had thrilled at the prospect of being tempted by Lucifer, of being offered cold, hard cash in exchange for my eternal soul.”
As the story progresses, B.K. discovers all the lies and deceit behind anything getting accomplished (or, more often the case, not getting accomplished) in Hollywood. He also finds himself solving a mystery involving his new acquaintance and freshest obsession, Calvin– yet another wounded soul in need of B.K.’s mentorship. Although they meet through an escort ad B.K. answers on a drunk and lonely night in his hotel room, Calvin winds up pouring out his life story into B.K.’s empathic ear.
When Calvin mysteriously goes missing shortly after their meeting, B.K. takes it on himself to become an amateur sleuth and solve the crime– all the while trying to wade through the logistics of the “deal” he’s trying to strike with the clinically insane producers who brought him to town in the first place.
B.K.’s views on the Hollywood scene and its seedy underbelly are predictably biting and spot-on in Death by Sunshine: “An essential truth about life in Hollywood: no sooner does one begin to vibrate with happiness than one pays for it with cruel, corresponding misery.”
It is perhaps the most entertaining read of the three B.K. novels for the sole reason that B.K. is no longer a supporting player in his own story. It’s entirely his show this time around, and the book miraculously avoids the trap of becoming too much of a good thing by never forgetting the protagonist’s most endearing quality: his enormous heart.
B.K.’s heart provides the balance the story needs to prevent it from becoming too zany of a Hollywood yarn. While there is plenty of humor to be found in his observations, the book further enhances B.K.’s lovability when he’s provided with opportunities to exhibit his overwhelming goodness and humanity.
One such instance, perhaps the best moment in the book, is when B.K. buys one of his fellow motel dwellers time with an esteemed acting coach. The little girl, dragged to Los Angeles by her neglectful mother in hopes of her becoming a child star, had been a point of interest since his arrival– her obvious discomfort and pain instantly registering on his radar. While the gesture is a guise to further B.K.’s investigation, it soon turns into a moving example of his exceptional character.
After the girl’s hour with Mr. Kenny, the acting coach, B.K. is horrified. In a private conference, Mr. Kenny tells B.K. that the little girl shows talent and star potential. Knowing the life ahead of her if she succeeds, B.K. does the most humane thing he possibly can and tells the mother, “She’s dreadful…. One of the least talented children Mr. Kenny has ever had the misfortune to meet.”
The little girl and her mother leave Los Angeles shortly thereafter, skipping their motel bill, saved by B.K. from a miserable life of success and stardom in Hollywood.
This instance further proves B.K. as something of a vessel through which Burnett has been able to observe his life and work retrospectively. After witnessing the brutal realty of Hollywood throughout his career– in this particular case how it treats young actresses– Burnett admits, “I was channeling a lot of my dismay into that scene… Wishing I could save them all.”
Though Burnett couldn’t have been happier with the novel’s quality, he was eventually disheartened to find that he could not find a publisher willing to purchase it. As Burnett bluntly puts it, “Who the fuck wants the third in a trilogy when the first two are published by someone else?”
Eventually, Burnett gave the manuscript to a local Los Angeles publisher, Writer’s Tribe, and it was published in October of 2011. It is now fairly easy to track down for a decent price on Amazon and other sites.
More B.K. to Come?
Burnett still has hopes for returning to B.K. in the future, but also has realistic doubts. He made several attempts to bring Christopher to the screen, but was unable to see it to fruition for a variety of reasons.
Most recently in 2017, Everybody Loves Raymond actress Patricia Heaton was attached as a producer to start a B.K. Troop television series (with the possible intention of her playing Christopher’s narcissistic nightmare of a mother). Kelsey Grammar, Val Kilmer, and Rainn Wilson were all considered for the role of B.K., but the process quickly fell apart after Heaton abruptly abandoned the project.
Burnett still continues to pitch B.K. Troop as a television series when he can and also has an idea for a fourth novel that he currently has no plans of pursuing due to lack of interest. All Burnett will say of that yet-unwritten fourth book:
“He was going to retire to New Mexico and find a baby on his doorstep. I could picture him in crunchy new Levis and a cowboy hat.”
Unless reader interest increases, however, the future of more B.K. stories isn’t an immediate likelihood. Burnett’s current plan to publish Christopher, The House Beautiful, and Death By Sunshine in one volume could potentially aid in that hope.
For Zalman King
One of Burnett’s happiest memories regarding Death By Sunshine is that it was read and loved by his beloved father-in-law, Zalman King, shortly before he passed away in 2012. Though he wished more for his treasured creation, this was, in the bittersweetest of ways, enough for the time being. Burnett lovingly dedicated the book’s publication to King.
When asked about his father-in-law, Burnett simply states, “I adored him. He could not have been a more loving, kind, and supportive person.”
In 2014, Burnett would also go on to dedicate his next-published novel, The Escape of Malcolm Poe, to both King and his wife, writer Patricia Knop, who were married nearly fifty years and collaborated on multiple productions of King’s. Considering the book was Burnett’s most treasured accomplishment to date, this was the highest gesture of respect he could bestow upon his beloved in-laws.
Underworld Awakening (2012)
It could be said that no screenwriter’s career is complete without a franchise, 3D blockbuster, or number-one opening weekend to his name. If this is true, Underworld Awakening brought Allison Burnett’s screenwriting career full circle, giving him the hit his resume had long needed.
Awakening is the fourth film in the action-horror Underworld series. The films follow a vampire warrior named Selene (Kate Beckinsdale) as she battles her way through werewolves, humans, and love. Slickly photographed, hyper-fast paced, and full of digital creatures and effects, Allison Burnett wasn’t exactly the obvious choice to write for the Underworld series.
Burnett was brought in three months before production was to begin on Underworld Awakening. At that point, the movie was built around a vague story about Selene’s newly discovered daughter and several detailed action sequences. Burnett was hired to “gather all the plot elements together into a cohesive whole, elevate the language, and add emotional weight to relationships.” He also penned the Twitter-favorite line, “My heart isn’t cold. It’s broken.”
Burnett’s contributions to Awakening (along with four other credited writers) worked. As a piece of popcorn entertainment, it’s a great time: fast, fun, energetic, creative, and, most impressively, it manages to get you emotionally involved in its vampire/werewolf-centric melodrama.
Since the movie works on different levels, it’s no surprise that Underworld Awaking is the highest-grossing film in the entire series and of Burnett’s career, grossing over $160 million worldwide.
Unlike most other productions of Burnett’s screenplays, there were no behind-the-scenes antics that made for a good story with Underworld Awakening. For Burnett, it was just a simple, well-paying, and ultimately successful job that he had a great time carrying out:
“I loved every minute of it, as it was a chance to write in elevated language and write scenes of some depth, considering the genre.”
Our piece on Allison Burnett will continue with Part 8 of 9, which will focus on his next produced spec screenplay, Gone, and the publication of what he considers to be his personal masterpiece.
